2 cows

December 1, 2005

*SOCIALISM:*
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.

*COMMUNISM:*
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

*FASCISM:*
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

*NAZISM:*
You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

*BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away…

*TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:*
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

*AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

*A FRENCH CORPORATION:*
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

*A JAPANESE CORPORATION: *
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

*A GERMAN CORPORATION:*
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

*AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:*
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.

*A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

*A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

*A CHINESE CORPORATION:*
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

*AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.

*A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.

*AN EGYPTIAN CORPORATION:*
You have two cows. Both are voting for Mubarak!

*A PALESTINIAN CORPORATION:*
You have two cows. You would:

1. Hire a 10 floors building,
2. Buy 50 new 4-wheels,
3. Employ: A new Minister every 3 months, 20 General Directors, 15 Directors grade-C, 10 Secretaries grade-C, & 5 emplyees to milk them.
4. Stay in a 5-stars hotel to observe and plan for the future of those cows and emlpyees.
5. Invite yourself & your employees to a “workshop” in a 5-stars hotel to taste the milk.
6. Give some milk to your relatives,
7. Give some milk to people in your political party,
8. Sell some milk to poor people,
9. & finally, you keep the big proportion of milk for yourself & open a new business for yourself & your sons!!

That was a forward I received. I didn’t get the palestinian corporation part though.

You & Me

What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive
I can’t keep up and I can’t back down
I’ve been losing so much time


Cause it’s you and me and all of the people
Nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it’s you and me and all of the people and
I don’t know why I can’t keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say
Just aren’t coming out right
I’m tripping on words, you got my head spinning
I don’t know where to go from here

Cause it’s you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it’s you and me and all of the people and
I don’t know why I can’t keep my eyes off you

Something about you now
I can’t quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it’s you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it’s you and me and all of the people and
I don’t know why I can’t keep my eyes off of

You and me and all of the people
With nothing to do nothin to prove and
It’s you and me and all of the people and
I don’t know why I can’t keep my eyes off of you

What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive

By Lifehouse

Statement about kidnapped CPT members by Palestinian political parties (Arabic & English)


In the name of God, the Compassionate and Merciful

“O ye who believe! If a wicked person comes to you with any news, ascertain the truth, lest ye harm people unwittingly, and afterwards become full of repentance for what ye have done.”-The Holy Qur’an, 49:6

The Islamic and National forces in the governorate of Hebron/Palestine express their deep regret for the kidnapping of four members of the Christian Peacemaker Teams (CPT) in Iraq.

The Islamic and National forces in the governorate of Hebron/Palestine have had long experience confronting Israeli crimes and violations with the CPT since 1995, and wish to confirm that the members of this group have had and still have a major role in confronting Israeli crimes and violations, and in the protection of the property and the lives of the Palestinian citizens.

More than once they placed themselves in front of the occupation’s tanks, and they confronted Israeli occupation bulldozers with their bodies defending Palestinians’ homes against destruction. They accompanied our children when they were threatened and attacked by Israeli settlers on their way to and from their schools. Because of what they were doing, the CPT members were subjected to arrest, beating and pursuit by the Israeli soldiers and settlers in more than one location in Palestine. Many of them were denied entry to Palestine, or deported by the occupation authorities because of their activities in confronting the occupation.

We appeal to our brothers in the resistance and all those with alert consciences in Iraq, with whom we consider ourselves to be in the same trench confronting American aggression and occupation, to instantly and quickly release the four kidnapped persons (two Canadians, one Briton and one American) from CPT, in appreciation for their role in standing beside and supporting our Palestinian people and all the Arab and Islamic peoples.

Freedom for the Iraqi and Palestinian people.
Shame and disgrace on the Zionist and American occupation.

The Islamic and National Forces in the Governorate of Hebron:
Islamic Resistance Movement/Hamas
Palestine People’s Party
Democratic Front for the Liberation of Palestine
Democratic Union of Palestine/Fada
Fatah
Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine
Palestinian Liberation Front
Palestinian Popular Struggle Front

Hebron, 29 November 2005

Update on ISM Hostages in Iraq

CPT Hebron contacted EI about the four members of the Christian Peacemaker Teams who were abducted in Iraq last Saturday. The four men are two CPTers and two delegates, one American, one British, and two Canadian. One, a CPT staff member, was to have come to work with CPT Hebron after his time in Iraq. Another worked in Palestine last year, and was active in demonstrating against Israel’s West Bank Barrier in Jayyous. The four men were en route to a meeting with members of the Islamic Scholars Association when they were abducted just 100 yards from the mosque where their meeting was scheduled. The full text of CPT’s official press release follows.

Please read, spread and circulate:


  • Statement about kidnapped CPT members by Palestinian political parties (Arabic & English)
  • Christian Peacemaker Teams Press Release (Arabic)